“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” – C. JoyBell C.
Letting go is perhaps the hardest thing to do. It can be painful and devastating.
Human beings are creatures of habit. Because our emotions can fog our logic, we feel it’s safe and comforting for things to stay the same.
And to let go of the familiar shoreline, no matter how unresourceful that is, can seem like complicating life. Of course, reality is by far different.
It’s time to ask: Should you let go of that particular person, job, stressful life situation, fear, relationship or even a particular thinking pattern?
Let’s find out if it’s time to let go with these 9 sure-fire signs.
9 Warning Signs It’s Time to Let Go
1. You’re clutching on to a past situation:
There comes a day in every person’s life when all the heartache, trials and tribulations make perfect sense. Someday it will all come together and you’ll look back at time, and smile at how well it all turned out to be in the end.
It’s far better to look forward to the next chapter in life, because what will eventually matter is not the start or middle, but how you finish your story.
2. You’re stuck in a comfort zone mentality:
Here’s a cool exercise for you. Draw a circle. Outside this circle you have several dots named as “P”. This circle is your Comfort Zone.
Now imagine yourself sitting nice and tight in the middle of this circle. Draw a smiley face representing you.
From your vantage point, those P’s looks like Problems because they lie outside your comfort zone.
As you gradually move toward the edge of your comfort zone, the P’s become Possibilities. Opportunities. That’s all it takes – a small action step; a forward movement, no matter how tiny, toward the edge of your Comfort Zone.
Yes it’s easy to make safe choices, yes it feels safe, but let’s be honest – how’s that strategy working for you so far? You already know the answer.
3. You’re constantly feeling sorry for yourself:
I have a friend who has had a history of multiple jobs, none of which he’s been able to hold on to for more than 6 months. For each job he’s quit, there is a story around how something was wrong with the people or the work culture.
He likes to externalise his problems, denying responsibility about the events that happen in his life. In reality, he has formed a convenient pattern that he repeats. And guess what? He is going to continue to find new jobs and quit them, because he is a victim or at “effect” of things that happen in life. That’s an unresourceful pattern to run, and until he starts to take responsibility, he’ll be forever stuck in that spiral of blame-game and unhappiness.
Remember, you can be hurt, but you don’t have to be miserable. The former happens to all of us but the latter is a choice.
4. You’re not happy with your current situation:
Sure, the grass may be greener on the other side but are you watering yours enough? The best things in life come when you follow your heart. If you’re unhappy with your current situation, perhaps it’s time to take risks. Far better to fail at something you love than succeed at something you dislike.
5. You’re obsessing over what happened:
From the moment we step into this world, we’re conditioned to worry. We’re taught that worrying is a good thing, it’s the right thing, the “mature” thing to do. But really, is it? At best, obsessing and worrying is a great procrastination strategy that keeps you stuck in the rut.
6. You’re spending time with people who overlook your worth:
Tony Robbins said that the quality of your life is a direct reflection of the expectations of the people you spend time with. In other words, if you’re hanging out with Debbie Downers and nay-sayers, you’re far more likely to “average” at around what they expect of you. To better the quality of your life, find better people who expect more of you.
7. You’re lacking the spark:
Have you experienced that feeling of missing the spark and totally uninspired? You’re certainly not alone. There could be many reasons – family commitments, unhealthy relationships, stressful jobs – all resulting in a feeling that you need a break. There’s nothing unusual about these feelings, and if anything, you should pay attention to what they are telling you. Maybe it’s time to take a pause, step back and take a second look at where you’re going – is it where you planned?
8. You’re repeating an unresourceful pattern:
One of the most powerful needs of human beings is to stay true to our core identity. The very need keeps us chained to our old patterns of thinking and behaviour. In order to succeed, be happy or achieve your goals, you must realise that the same pattern of thinking that has gotten you to where you are now won’t take you to where you want to go – if you’re not happy with an area of your life, it’s time to change your strategy and break the unresourceful patterns.
9. You’re forever seeking a better life that lies “out there”:
The past is gone. The future is only a projection. We can dwell on our past accomplishments and reflect on what’s done. Or, we can visualise a perfect future.
Both have their place, but it’s the present moment that allows you to choose a new direction. You can create your ideal average day right here, in the present. But the biggest reason we don’t do that is our mind doesn’t know how to shut up. It’s as if we’re constantly talking to ourselves, telling ourselves stories, and never really listening – and therefore, never in touch with reality.
Your Turn Now!
No matter how much we’d like that, we’re not living perfect a blockbuster happily-ever-after storyline. There will be times when someone breaks your trust; loved ones might hurt you; your job will get stressful – that’s life.
Whatever happens, something you should never let go of is a healthy dose of hope.
Everything else? It’s worth considering whether you should start subtracting it from your life.
Tell us about the most obvious time to let go sign you’ve noticed in your own life. Would you like to add more to the list above? Take it away in the comments!